I'd said that I'd meet one girl I'd been talking to for a while - again, no pressure or expectations. In fact, I don't think I'd even seen any pics of her.
What the hell! It gave me a destination to ride to, and the chance for some company for a meal and drink when I got there.
So I spoke to her friend online (who I didn't really know), and arranged it all within a week to go and meet them.
On the day, all I had was a town name and the mobile numbers of both girls. That was more than enough for me, because it was miles away down some great roads.
I'd sent a few text messages earlier to confirm a rough time of arrival, and as I got close to the town, I thought I'd better pull over and get some directions to somewhere that we could meet up. I called the friend.
"Hi, I'm just coming into the town now! How do I get to you?"
*imagine her replying in the most irritating, whiney voice Satan has ever conceived*
"Ooh, I don't know! I'm not too good with directions!"
"OK – where are you?"
"Err… by my house."
"OK – where are you?"
"Err… by my house."
*Picture me rolling my eyes and slapping a hand over them like a stoned Orangutan*
"Riiiight… I'll need a bit more than that…?"
"Umm… I don't really know roads…"
"Umm… I don't really know roads…"
Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ. Now, this was a town near the Welsh border, so I thought anyone living there would at least be able to tell me if I needed to take the road which headed towards Wales – it being an entire fucking country and all…
But she didn't even know that.
By some stroke of total and utter luck, I rode into the town and managed to find a pub that she'd mentioned, after quite a few miles of randomly guessing at where I was supposed to head for! Spooky!
So I called the friend back, and she came and met me.
"Let's go inside – I'll buy you a meal and a drink!"
"Ooh no… I don't want to go in there… I'll just wait outside for you."
"Ooh no… I don't want to go in there… I'll just wait outside for you."
Ok, now it was getting weird. Added to this was the fact that the girl who I actually knew, and was intending to meet, didn't actually know that I was coming, and was at work!!!
So I went into this pub, and sat and ate a meal myself, while she stood outside just across the street! All on her own! Next to a phone box!
Anyway, after that I stood on the street for a while with her, and it soon became obvious that we weren't going anywhere else… I made my excuses after a polite time, and told her I had to leave.
I did have to leave: I was starting to expect Candid Camera or a Big Knife In My Spleen.
Even weirder was that over the next few days she started sending me text messages saying she had feelings for me, and asking when I was coming to see her again! Umm, ok – she wasn't bad-looking, but she seemed really distant and there was definitely no attempt at any intimacy, other than me giving her a quick hug and peck on the cheek before I left!
I never did meet the girl I actually knew, and I still don't' really know what the whole business was about…
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