What If You Were Dead?

What If You Were Dead?

No, this isn't a death threat and nor is it some esoteric spiritual afterlife ghosty blog.

Believe it or not, I'm actually quite fond of some of you rubberheads on MySpace! You keep me entertained, get me thinking, make me rant, and some of you even read the crap that I write! In fact, the chances are if you're reading this and you aren't some mad crazy stalker, I might even miss you if you stopped!

The other day I was thinking about what happens when a blogger dies.

I don't think I'm subscribed to anyone in their 90s, so aside from anything else there would at least be some degree of tragedy to the whole thing, in that one of us has been 'taken before our time' (whatever that actually means), and chances are it wouldn't be expected or even A Good Way To Go.

But would anyone ever know?

If you're anything like me, most people who read my blogs are people I've never actually met before. There are a couple of Real Life mates like War Bastard and of course Lill Boo who stop in from time to time who'd obviously know pretty soon - but what about everyone else?

Think back to blogs you used to read that have now disappeared. Even if it's a blog you enjoyed, it could be weeks or months until you even realise they haven't been around. Even then you'll probably just assume they're on holiday or found someone to hang out the back of rather than spend their time mooching about online.

You could quite easily buy the farm and nobody here would ever know what had happened.

It's one of those weird situations online life has thrown into the mix. Before the internet you'd hear about it from someone but now, for an online friend...?

Last year, a Canadian bloke I'd met through chatrooms had a huge heart attack and died on the spot. He wasn't a blogger or anything, and we weren't mega-close, but he was one of those people who popped up on MSN Messenger and we'd have a good chat - or we'd post crap to each other on Facebook and add each other to stupid apps. Definitely someone I'd class as an Online Friend.

It was 2 or 3 months after that when I just caught a message posted by someone else for him saying "R.I.P". I'd been wondering where he was, but figured he'd pop up again...

So what would happen if you died? Would someone log into your account and tell people what happened? Does anyone have your passwords, and would they even think for a second about your Online Friends?

Is this something we should be putting in our Wills now? "My passwords for MySpace and Facebook are xxxx - please change my status to 'is dead'"?

Err... should I actually HAVE a Will?

Anyway - try not to die if you can.

I'll do my best!

Romance & Relationships - You're Doing It Wrong!!!

Romance & Relationships - You're Doing It Wrong!!!

I got bored on a quiet day yesterday, so decided to have a trawl through some of the 'top blogs' lists on MySpace. First off, I couldn't really give a kippers dick that my blogs aren't allowed to rank (although it would be nice to have the odd one ranking now and again just to piss on Tom's bonfire) - but I think it is taking the piss when most of these 'top blogs' have one or two comments on them?!

I mean come the fuck on! Do they pull these rankings out of a hat??? And people are still trying to hit these 'top rankings'?

Of course, as I like laughing at stupid people, I found myself reading random blogs from the Romance & Relationships category.

There were two types of blogs that seemed to dominate:

Blogs by women who've just met someone and saying how chuffed they were to have been discussing their future plans of marriage and children with their new man, and

Blogs by women whose new lover has just stopped contacting them after a seemingly great date.

*points*

Do I really have to spell out the link between these? Is there a plague of Desperation sweeping the women of the world?

Then there are the dating blogs. All the tales of woe about how nobody wants to commit to a proper relationship. How people are meeting up and as it turns out all one side wants (usually the male) is sex. And they usually appear to get it.

Mingled in snuggly with these are the dating blogs written by people who are going on as many dates with as many people as they can.

"Don't tie yourself down! Look at all the options!" they cry! These are modern times and it's a buyers market! There's no need for anyone to settle until they're absolutely sure they've found the right partner.

*points*

Is it just me here that can see this shit? Look! Can you spot where the problem is with both of those?

*jumps around and makes spakka noises*

FFS people! Is everyone really as stupid as it's looking?

Is this why cheating is on the up - because nobody knows what the fuck they want or are supposed to want anymore?

After all, why bother committing to set yourself up for failure when the one you've been dating for a few weeks decides Date #13 was a better liar when asked about what they wanted 20 years into the future?

And at least they got the shag.